My thoughts returned to Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw unexpectedly tonight, however, that is frequently how memory works.
It is often a minor detail that sets it off. The trigger today was the sound of paper sticking together as I turned the pages of a long-neglected book kept on a shelf too close to the window. That is the effect of damp air. My pause was more extended than required, ungluing each page with care, and his name emerged once more, silent and uninvited.There’s something strange about respected figures like him. You don’t actually see them very much. If seen at all, it is typically from a remote perspective, transmitted through anecdotes, reminiscences, and partial quotations which lack a definitive source. My knowledge of Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw seems rooted in his silences. The void of drama, the void of rush, and the void of commentary. And those absences say more than most words ever could.
I recall an occasion when I inquired about him. Without directness or any sense of formality. Simply a passing remark, like a comment on the climate. They nodded, offered a small smile, and uttered something along the lines of “Ah, Sayadaw… he possesses great steadiness.” The conversation ended there, without any expansion. At first, I felt a little unsatisfied with the answer. In hindsight, I see that reply as being flawless.
The time is currently mid-afternoon in my location. The light is dull, not golden, not dramatic. Just light. I’m sitting on the floor instead of the chair for no real reason. Perhaps my body sought a new form of discomfort today. My thoughts return to the concept of stability and its scarcity. We talk about wisdom a lot, but steadiness feels harder. It is easy to admire wisdom from a distance. Steadiness has to be lived next to, day after day.
Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw witnessed immense transformations during his life. Political upheavals, societal transitions, and cycles of erosion and renewal which appears to be the hallmark of contemporary Myanmar's history. Nevertheless, discussions about him rarely focus on his views or stances. They speak primarily of his consistency. As if he was a reference point that didn’t move while everything else did. I’m not sure how someone manages that without becoming rigid. That particular harmony feels incredibly rare
There is a particular moment that keeps recurring in my mind, though I can’t even be sure it really happened the way I remember it. A bhikkhu meticulously and slowly adjusting his attire, as if there was no other place he needed to be. That might not even have been Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw. Memory click here blurs people together. However, the emotion associated with it persisted. That feeling of being unhurried by the expectations of the world.
I find myself wondering, often, what it costs to be that kind of person. Not in a dramatic sense. Just the daily cost. The subtle sacrifices that appear unremarkable to others. Choosing not to engage in certain conversations. Letting misunderstandings stand. Permitting individuals to superimpose their own needs upon your image. I am unsure if he ever contemplated these issues. It could be that he didn't, and that may be the very heart of it.
My hands have become dusty from handling the book. I wipe it away without thinking. Writing these words feels a bit unnecessary, and I mean that kindly. Not all reflections need to serve a specific purpose. Occasionally, it is adequate to merely acknowledge. that specific lives leave a profound imprint. without ever trying to explain themselves. To me, Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw embodies that quality. An influence that is experienced rather than analyzed, as it should be.